Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
