You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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