So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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