Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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