you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up under a house in Key West
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
