it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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