Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
