Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
