it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize