Soap is not a condiment
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
