i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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