I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
