So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I need a beard to bite.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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