Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
