I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
