He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
