You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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