i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
FUCK WHALES
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