youre lurking in front of me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
