girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
