You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
