you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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