It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
