If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
