Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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