the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
