if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
NoShamevember. You game?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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