what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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