If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
