honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
