how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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