the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
