Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
