Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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