There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize