Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
