So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
