Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She's just so happy...and so naked.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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