Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
