Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
