My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well I just put wine in my tea
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
