When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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