My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
