I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
