I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Oh god it's open bar.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
