waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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