Sorry, I don't speak sober.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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