even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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