Whatcha textin bout Willis?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
