i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
