I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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