On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
