thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
