He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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