3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
