Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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