They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
