Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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