my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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