38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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