You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh god the rape fog is back!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
