Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
