he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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