so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize