hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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