thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
