You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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