yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
