Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize