That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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