You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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